Developing a Mindset for Fun
If you ask ten people why they train jiu-jitsu, you’ll likely get ten different answers. They may do it to stay in shape or for self-defense. Others may say that it makes them more confident or it’s a mental reset from the day’s drudgery. Still other people simply love the camaraderie and have a strong friend group at their gym.
If you find ten people who quit doing jiu-jitsu, you’ll likely get ten different answers, too. Sometimes it’s time constraints because they started a new job or had a child or began a new relationship. Other times it’s due to injuries or challenges getting to class. For example, they may have moved to a new city and haven’t bothered to find a gym.
As Rick Ellis of The Art of Skill says in the video above, there is a common theme throughout all this: fun. People who continue to train jiu-jitsu have fun doing it. People who stop have found that they’re having less fun than they once did, so they’re choosing to do other things instead.
What Ruins the Fun?
As Rick notes at the start of the video, jiu-jitsu, like all martial arts, is fundamentally a vehicle for self-improvement. True, it teaches you how to defend yourself, but training also makes you fitter, stronger, and more resilient physically. It also gives you confidence, improves your ability to think on your feet, and makes you a better strategist and problem-solver. It can also be a great way to relieve stress.
However, if you’re training because you want to prove that you can physically dominate another person or constantly feel the need to live up to a projection of yourself that you can’t possibly meet, then jiu-jitsu will inevitably become a chore. The same is true if you feel as though you have to beat every single person who is a lower belt than you every time you roll. This simply isn’t possible. If you’re a purple belt, you may lose to a blue belt.
All these examples are related because they all involve unrealistic expectations. According to Rick, this is what saps the fun out of jiu-jitsu and ultimately pushes people to quit.
“You have to surrender to the journey of jiu-jitsu,” Rick says. “That means whatever happens on the mat was supposed to happen on the mat,” and the lessons that you learn on any given day were the lessons that you needed to learn.
Embracing Your Jiu-Jitsu Journey
This kind of acceptance should not be confused with a passive mentality. You need to have goals, and you need to push yourself, especially during competitions. However, if you only focus on your faults and constantly push yourself to your limit even when you’re rolling, you will start to see jiu-jitsu as a chore and, worse, you will risk injury.
Don’t keep score when training
You’re supposed to get tapped when you’re training because you should constantly be expanding from your comfort zone, refining techniques, and testing your limits. Sometimes those tests end in abject failure. Sometimes they lead to major breakthroughs. The only way to find out if something works is to test it, and that is exactly what training is for. If it ends in a loss to a lower belt, who cares?
Did I help myself get better today?
Every time you step off the mat, you should ask yourself one question: “Did I help myself get better today?”
It’s worth remembering that progress is not perfectly linear. There are days when you will feel like your game is airtight, and there are days when you may struggle with certain techniques. This happens. However, you should always compare yourself to where you were when you started doing jiu-jitsu. You should compare yourself to where you were when you received your blue belt or your purple belt or your brown belt or your black belt.
You need to think about your journey in terms of your development and your growth and not simply compare yourself only to the person you want to be. If you’ve gotten better, then you should consider that a win.
If you show up, you will get better
No matter what, if you show up every day and keep training, you will get better. No one’s journey is linear and there will be difficult days where you may not feel that way. Sometimes you may not feel as though you’ve made any improvements, and that can seriously affect how you feel. It can make coming to class a slog rather than something fun.
However, if you can stay motivated and keep showing up, you will get better. Your technique will improve, you will overcome any plateau, and you will continue to find joy and fun in jiu-jitsu.